Metamorphosis - noun
1.
Biology. A profound change in form from one stage to the next in the life
history of an organism.
2.
A complete change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation by magic
or witchcraft.
3.
Any complete change in appearance, character, circumstances, etc.
4.
A form resulting from any such change.
5.
Pathology. A type of alteration or degeneration in which tissues are changed.
In
March of 2003 late one night around 10 pm, I was told a story. A story of a
great flood, one that destroyed the world and everyone in it. God was unhappy,
he was mad and he regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his
heart was deeply troubled. He wiped them off the face of the earth except for
Noah – he found favor in Noah and his family. After the flood waters subsided
he made a promise that he makes with us almost every day. He shows a rainbow
after every rain so that we are reminded that he will never again wipe the
earth of all those on it with flood waters. He made that covenant and keeps it every
day. I felt peace after hearing that story because I did not know of that proof
of his existence and of his promise. I had nothing to fear because HE was truly
here. Little did I know a few short hours later I would be fired from a job I
loved and pushed to the limit as I made decisions I had put off long enough, I
made changes, I did things I never thought I would do and I grew from it. And
through all that I knew the rainbow would always come out after the rain –
because everything was going to be ok.
In
2006 I was baptized with my Groom by my side. From that day on I knew that me
and my house were going to serve the Lord and that we were destined for
greatness.
In
2007 (unwillingly), as a favor to a dear friend, I started to volunteer as a teacher
in the children’s ministry at church (one I had not grown fond of yet). I
taught the Bible to children from 1st – 5th grade,
through music, lecture, video, games and team assignments. Little did I know
that I was actually the student and that the children were my classmates and God
was my teacher. One day in 2008 – while teaching, I broke and God morphed me…
that story goes a little like this… I was teaching the story of Esther and had
shown a movie clip where Esther asks the King for her life and in turn give
her, her people. Through one faithful act of obedience Esther was able to save
a Nation. She morphed from being a persecuted Jew to a Queen and Hero. One the
day appointed for the destruction of all Jews, they were given the right to
protect themselves and entitled to take for themselves all the property of all
their attackers. Upon teaching that story my heart broke and understood that I
wanted that calling – I wanted to be Esther. I wanted to save a nation. So from
that day forth I prayed for a story. Little did I know that my story had
already begun. I survived a few small storms along the way and morphed into a
stronger person, more faithful Christian and a more loving wife. I was blessed
with being selected to bring to this world a new life, one shaped in His image,
one that He knew before even forming her in my womb. My body expanded and made
room for His child one that was designed for greatness and ordained for royalty
as a Princess in the Kingdom of God.
In
2008 I prayed for my child, I prayed for her safe keeping, her heart, her life
and her mission. I prayed for my womb, my life and that of my husband’s. I
prayed to be all the God wanted me to be, a good daughter, a good friend, a
good wife and a good mom. I prayed for the church and I remember sitting in the
Green Room while my husband played on the Worship team during service and I was
scared because God was morphing my heart. He was showing me how to love like
Him and breaking my heart for what breaks His. 2008 was an awesome year of
worship, obedience and growth.
Two
years later, in 2010 I gave birth to the most beautiful child ever born,
Makaila. Named after her father. I morphed again and became a mother. Her
existence altered me: my appearance, my character, and my circumstances – by
way of Godly magic I was transformed into a new being.
Little
did I know that sometime after that not only was I spiritually, appearance-wise,
character-wise and circumstance-wise, morphing, my body was going through a
metamorphosis. My body had cells that were altering, changing and multiplying. I
was under attack. A great storm was rolling in and although I was not ready for
battle I was ready to win the war.
It
was a beautiful day – much like today on November 8, 2012, a little more than two
years ago, I was sitting by myself at the doctor's office waiting to see the
doctor. The wait was extremely long and my husband’s phone calls were becoming
annoying. With every call he reminded me that the wait had been long after a
hour wait, my Groom arrived and surprised me. We sat there talking and holding
hands as we waited for the doctor. Minutes after my Groom’s arrival the doctor
entered with the news, Connie you have ... Usually girls wish for money,
diamonds, and flowers. I didn’t wish for any of those things as I had
everything I needed in my groom and my child. But I did pray, as a matter of
fact I had been praying since 2007 to be a woman like Esther and God had been
answering my prayer since then because he knew my heart. He knew me before
placing me in my mother’s womb. He knows the number of hairs on my head… Cancer.
What I thought was a death sentence was actually the biggest blessing that I
didn't even know to wish for. The gift of life and the hope, grace and peace
God placed in my heart was overwhelming. I cried but never once did I blame
God, never once did I ask him why. Instead, I had joy – the kind of joy the
bible speaks of – joy that cannot be taken away by anyone or anything because
HE gave it to me and only HE could take it away. I asked him to hold my hand
with all his strength because I was made weak, I was made to need him and I
needed HIM. He was the one who would make me strong and pull me out of this
storm.
You
might be thinking… This chick is crazy how can Cancer be a blessing? How can
she have the guts to say that when I know someone who died of Cancer or someone
who is suffering through Cancer. She is crazy and doesn’t know what a blessing
is… I’m here to tell you that actually, I do know what a blessing is and
sometimes it comes in a way you never expected, at the most inconvenient time
and in the most un-wanting way. But you know what – it is HIS way and HIS way
is ALWAYS right and ALWAYS perfect.
I
always prayed to God to be like Esther to lead a nation to freedom and the love
of God. I prayed for years to have a compelling story to tell people so that I
could bring the masses to Christ. Little did I know what he had planned for me
–through this storm, while he carried me – I was able to spread the gospel. I
was able to preach His goodness to multiple doctors, nurses and healthcare
providers not only locally in Miami but in Ohio and the airports that I
traveled to, when I went for surgery and my multiple follow-ups. I was blessed
to be able to pray for people I didn't even know. I was able to travel and see
the beauty of the blessing he was bestowing upon me. I was able to learn and
grow in my faith. I learned what true strength was and I was able to feel the
love God has for me. He gave me the strength to show nothing but Joy during
this storm in my life. He spoke my name and gave me life in 1979, he knocked on
the door and I let him in, in 2006 when he saved me, He made me a teacher in
2007, he saved me and gave me a heart for the hurting in 2008, he taught me to
love the way he loves in 2010 and in 2012 he showed me that all things are
possible through Christ to give me strength. To HIM I am eternally grateful for
giving me life, a story and a happy ending and a never ending metamorphosis for
HIS glory.
November
8th will forever be a bitter sweet day that I will always celebrate
as the day God answered my prayer - the prayer of my own version of Esther's
story.
Keep
your head high, your heart open, your eyes on the promise land and your hand in
His hand. And forever be reminded everything changes because the only constant
is God.
